At 9:30am Friday morning, the doctors took Drew off the ventilator. He was wide awake and wanted the breathing tube out...all very good signs. As I reported in previous posts, his body seemed to be responding to treatment. Less than an hour after he was pulled from the ventilator, Drew began to breath in a difficult pattern, the same that sent him to the ventilator 2 weeks ago. The doctors were very worried but wanted to give him a chance to come out of this pattern. It became evident as the day ticked away that, that simply wouldn't happen. Around 10pm he started to decline and it was evident to Robert and I that we had some really tough decisions to make. If he was re-intubated he would most certainly live a life attached to a ventilator. We had decided, when this journey first began, that we did not want that for him. While medical intervention has helped many, those choices are skirting with the will of God.
The time came when we had to make the decision. We prayed fervently to receive a peace about our choice....I instantly did. At the conclusion of our prayer, I immediately felt an overwhelming sense that told me his Heavenly Father was calling him home. I was brought to my knees and wept for my baby. We wrapped him in his favorite blanket and held him tight. He took his last breath moments after we told him that it was ok for him to go if He was calling for him. I love that little boy more than words can express. Watching him pass was the most difficult thing I have ever done or witnessed. I knew that at any moment I could yell for the doctors and they would insert the breathing tube...but what kind of life is that...hooked up to a ventilator. What a test...I knew Gods will. But knowing isn't nearly as difficult as following it.
Brit, I am just in amazement of yours and Rob's strong faith and determination to follow God's will in spite of the yearning of your hearts to put Drew back on the ventilator. I'm sure that the Lord is so pleased with you for following His will. What a blessed little man Drew is to have such faithful parents for all eternity. Joe and I pray that the peace and love of God will calm your grieving spirits and help you to feel His love and the love of all those around you who support you in this time of mourning. Love to you both.
ReplyDeleteWhile I was reading this, I could feel the spirit so strongly. Your example of exact obedience to God's will is breathtaking to me. We will continue to pray for your beautiful family that you will have the peace and strength to help you in this time.
ReplyDeleteI too am in awe of your courage and faith. I pray that the healing power of the atonement will comfort you in this sacred process. I admire you and Rob so much. It is a difficult choice, but I know God is pleased to have him home, as perfect as Drew is.
ReplyDeleteBrittany- I hope it is okay that Rachelle shared your blog with me. I love the name you gave it. I have been thinking of your family and keeping you in my prayers. I feel so blessed to have met little Drew (and the rest of your family). I love his middle name - my son Kyle's best friend's name is Kai. (Rachelle probably told you about my Kyle, our little missionary in the spirit world.) Just know that I'm thinking of you on this journey. I have a blog too http://allgoodtreasuresinheaven.blogspot.com/.
ReplyDelete-Robyn (Rachelle's sister)
Brittany - you don't know me. I have been praying for Drew. I am grieved for you and your family. I wanted to just say thank you for demonstrating the painful love of a mother and the powerful love of our Father. The beauty of those two loves being in concert is a miracle. Thank you for your courage and willingness to share your pain with your community. I am continuing to pray for your family. Blessings.
ReplyDeletetheressa